December 10, 2013

I'm kinda pissed but very blessed.

A few weeks ago a faculty member could walk on stage (during chapel at school ) without striking fear into my heart. But a few resignations later, I cringe when anyone is about to make an announcement.

I get attached to people.

The first resignation was by our school President. Sure he was following God's Will for his life, but he never asked me if it was okay. He was one of the major reasons I chose this school. Now look at him, just leaving like it ain't no thing. I was suppose to shake his hand at graduation.

I get attached to people.

There have been more changes and more ill-timed, unrelated resignations since then, and now I almost vomit when it's announcement time.

You need to know this. It's December, it's finals week, and my dearest friends are graduating ( I will not see them until May). I'm stressed, I'm sad, I'm homesick.

Today crossed the line for me.
Whistle blown.
Flag on the play.
Pass interference !

A professor of Youth and Family Ministry ( which is my major ) announced his resignation today.....on stage...during chapel. Leaving me to cry ball my eyes out , trapped in a gym full of people. Doesn't he realize that I just changed my major for the third time? Doesn't he realize that I already finalized my Spring Semester schedule with his classes? Doesn't he realize that I am not done learning from him yet?

I'm kinda pissed.

Back somewhere in 2005ish I was called to the Principal's office during my Biology class. My brother had come to the school and needed to meet with me urgently. We were able to sit outside and he told me that he would be moving from our town in Oklahoma to some Bible College in Missouri. I was almost a Junior, I was about to graduate. We were best friends, how could he do this?!

That night at youth group, God got a sense of humor. My youth pastor announced that he would be making the transition into mission work overseas. Him, his wife, and kids would be But, how in the world am I suppose to graduate High School with their guidance? Couldn't they wait until I was done?

 As the years went on, the bitterness slipped away and God gave me a beautiful outlook on this situation. These people were not trying to hurt me by leaving, but they were setting an example. An example of responding to the call that God has placed on our lives.

I don't know if people cried and stomped their feet when David and I up and left our cozy comfort in Oklahoma to be poor college kids in Missouri. Regardless of how people responded, we are responsible for obeying the call the God have us.

Today, sitting in the gym, with tears gushing out of my face, I was transported back through those memories. And as much as I want to lash out at those resignations, I have to respect the obedience that these men and women are exhibiting.

I need to remember that their God given abilities were not meant to serve me, but to Give Glory to God. I need to remember that they are giving me a gift: the gift of setting an example.

So, in this emotional trial of change, I have been blessed.
I'm still kinda pissed...but very very blessed.


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