November 4, 2015

Phase Five: Sweet November

Thank you for your continued prayer during this season of our life and phase of healing. If you are reading this post for the first time, you may refer to the Phase One for background on our miscarriage story. 

I have always wanted to be pregnant in Autumn.

I loved everything about cozy blankets, football games, and two holidays back to back. Many of the ideas of sharing news with family and friends centered around cute pumpkins, at the Thanksgiving Dinner table, or through Christmas gifts. 

So it was a tender sweet gift to be pregnant in the fall. The pregnancy was not only an answer to prayer but the timing was as well.

A few weeks ago I shared about the cruelty of this miscarriage experience. While writing that post I viewed my autumn miscarriage as a cruel taunting of this fallen world. Why did it have to be during my favorite season? Why did it have to be near my birthday? The hurt seemed so intentional. The pain seemed so specific. 

Then, during a crisp fall night, October passed away and gave birth to November. 

Sweet November. 

A time of Thankfulness. A time of looking back on what God has done this year. 

Throughout the New Testament the apostle Paul continues to remind his fellow Christians to seek a heart of thankfulness, especially during a time of trial. 

"...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
 - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

So here I am. In my autumn, barring wounds from battle, as I march in the season of Thanksgiving. 

What I have found when I am face down before God is that I can more accurately see His provision over my life instead of my vision for my life. When I am humble before God I am reminded of the 1,000's of dollars He provided for my surgery. When I step back from my current hurt I am reminded that God puts air in my lungs each morning. There are things to be thankful for everywhere!

So how tender and how sweet of the Lord to have November after October. How tender and sweet of Him to move me toward a heart of mourning to a heart of thanksgiving with autumn leaves all around me. While October seemed cruel, November seems sweet. 

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