April 16, 2013

First Loss

I am so thankful that I lived almost 25 years before experiencing the harsh loss of a close family member. Sure I have lost loved ones before but this is the first of my immediate family. From now on I will have to speak of grandpa in the past tense. My children will role their eyes as I try to describe how handsome, strong, and tender this 1/2 Cherokee man was.

At Bible college they try to teach us how to be leaders in difficult situations. How to minister to those that are hurting. I have tried to aid those in their loss. Now I find myself trying to cling to my own advice and reminders. Bible college wasn't just preparing me to deal with others grief but how to handle my own.

Even though I am in a roller coaster of tears, homework, and daily stress, I do find peace in remembering that my grandpa did know Jesus as his personal savior. Grandpa accepted Jesus Christ and that means that he is in Heaven right now. I don't have to just say "he is in a better place" to make myself better, I can actually know that he IS in a better place.

Tonight my grandpa is young and energized.
Tonight he has received a new name.
His ragged tired clothes are traded in for a pure white robe.
He is not restricted by any ache of any kind.

I love you grandpa.
It's going to take me awhile to get used to this.
But I will see you again.

Love you grandpa.

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